Marriage is one of the most important bonds two human beings can make with each other. Universally, marriage is the joining of a man and a woman, who promise to support and love each other for the remainder of their lives. Generally, this promise is taken within a spiritual context. Good marriages are not hard work. and actually flow quite smoothly. It is actually bad marriages that are a lot of hard work. Good marriages become bad marriages when mistakes are made that ruin the romantic love spouses once had for each other.
Marriages become bad when one or both partners fail to meet each other's emotional needs or makes the other partner unhappy. Either one can destroy a marriage because needs are not being met. It is always much harder to be in a marriage when you stop loving the other person. However, working on
old mistakes and trying hard to meet unmet needs,can heal wounds in a marriage and make it whole again, so that marriage again becomes easy and wonderful.
A person will generally marry someone who does a good job of meeting their emotional needs. Every encounter you have with that person prior to marriage will prove his or her effectiveness, because he or she will make you feel good whenever you are in their company. After you have had a few of those experiences, you will find yourself in love. In fact, falling in love - what is known popularly as romantic love, is actual proof that the person you are dating is meeting some of your important emotional needs.
Some of the most important values women in general have placed in potential life partners are: affection, conversation, honesty, openness, fairness, financial freedom and support, and commitment. Some of the most important needs men have expressed are: recreation, physical appearance, admiration, domestic support, and sexual fulfillment.
Some of the most frequent causes of conflict within a relationship are the result of behavior choices on the part of one or both partners. For example, a spouse that is demanding and controlling creates an unhealthy dynamic and environment. Disrespect, abuse, anger, and domestic violence are all harbingers of pain and suffering into a relationship, resulting in deterioration and ultimate death of love in a marriage, as well as creating a whole Pandora's box of other evils. Other causes of conflict include ignoring, slighting, coldness, emotional withdrawal, dishonesty, and continuation of behavior that is annoying to one of the spouses and the other spouse refusing to change or alter their behavior.
A lot has been written regarding choice for a marriage partner. One of the simplest and most effective ways is to listen to your own heart. How do you feel around the other person? Do you feel appreciated, cared for, protected, important, secure, and loved? When you start to think about
what you want and how you want to be treated, you can create a relationship that embodies that for yourself.
In simple terms, there are four important things to consider before marriage to a potential life-mate: caring,protection, time, and honesty. Caring means that you meet each other's most important emotional needs. Protection means you avoid being the cause of each other's unhappiness. Time means you give each other time each week for undivided attention. By honesty, you promise to be totally honest with each other. |
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